| Sanctuary |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|06:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lost | ] |
| [ | music |
| | We Major - Kayne West | ] |
Ok, so I live in a sanctuary... unfortunately, it's not MY sanctuary.
Everyone lives here, I exist here. It's a place to eat, sleep, and maybe use the computer. Thats about it these days...
OK, for those of you not as in the loop... Webb has now moved in. It's cool and all, but it seems that my life is taking a downhill slide... I have NO privacy anymore, no spare time to myself, no time to sit and think and do those things that you can only do alone (no, not those things... dirty minded individuals!)
But, you get what I mean... I sleep in the main room, as does Webb... meh, I'll survive, only a few more months, then I'm outta here!!! |
|
|
| The World Is A Tragedy To Those Who Feel, But A Comedy To Those Who Think |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|09:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
Weird, admitted some stuff to a girl who lives up in Scotland tonight, real deep stuff, made me feel much better about things, like a great weight lifted... It's all good, all part of growing up I suppose.
So, here I am, feeling much better about myself, about life, about everything. (Though, still single, still not getting any, but thats more my choice than anything else)
Life goes on, still breathing, still writing. (I started writing again, found a great new (well, not new, but new to me) author who really appeals to me, and my way of viewing life, caused me to start writing again)
Life is rather good, not in a huggy mood (Lou will understand this), but it's good never-the-less :) |
|
|
| This World Is Fucking Sick... |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|03:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Pissed The Fuck Off! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silent Type - SuperEgo | ] |
Ok, in a world where we're meant to have respect for our fellow human, in what is meant to be a free world... where does a 20 month child get sued because of some fucking clause in a contract?
http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/01/15/ngyte15.xml
Basically, if you can't be bothered to read all of that, but I would, it's a sad story...
A woman killed herself due to post natal depression, leaving a 3 month old child with his father, all he has of her, is a few picture, his father's memories and the suicide note from her which reads: "I love you so much. I'm so sorry I have to leave you. Look after our beautiful baby son. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry please forgive me. I tried but I failed. I love you. Penny xxx."
Now, he is being sued because she died, she signed a no-win-no-fee contract, with a clause that says in the event of the claimant's dying before the claim for damages was concluded, the firm was entitled to recover "our basic charges up to the date of your death from your estate".
He is now being sued for up to £25000, what the fuck is up with that? Come off it, it's not worth the fucking hassle!
Sorry, but this story has really affected me, I think it's sick that a company will have no respect for the father and the child in their grief for their lost love/mother. |
|
|
| There's Always One... |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|02:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
... And this time it was me!
Sorry, I should explain. At every party, ever, there is always an idiot, whether they're drunk or not... This time it was me!
I got kinda drunk, kinda wasted, kinda depressed, kinda suicidal... but thats for another time.
It was a good party overall, had a few laughs, a few blackouts, a few revelations... was a long night lol! |
|
|
| 7 Tonne Truck + Bike = PAIN AND A HALF!!! |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|08:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Tension And The Terror - Straylight Run | ] |
Ok, painful day lol.
Firstly, I overslept... I was meant to be up at 7 so I could be in work at 9... Didn't get up til 9.44... ooops!
I called them up and they told me to be in for 12... Fair enough I spose lol.
So, I'm leaving the flat at 11, cycling down the road... AND A BLOODY TRUCK HIT ME!!!! Well, it clipped my back wheel, but it was enough to send me spinning, I lost control and came offa my bike, landing very awkwardly... So, there I am, lying in the middle of the road... and it's clicked.... "I'm lying in the middle of a main road.... shit...!" So I got up, and this fucking woman driving down the road, while on her mobile didn't see me, didn't brake... so I had to half jump, half fall outta the way.... It narrowly missed my leg...
Ended up in hospital, nothing broken, just gotta take it easy, exercise the joints etc etc... meh!
That was my day, fun, no? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 31st, 2005|03:14 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Let Down - Chester Bennington | ] |
I haven't cries in 7 months... I'm crying as I'm writing these very words....
I don't know if she loves me...
Thats the way it goes...
The tears on my keyboard,
Thoughts running through my head,
I read what people say,
And feel I should be dead….
What do we struggle for?
Why do we toil?
Why make life so hard,
When we end up under soil.
Feelings running wild,
Timing just so wrong,
Days run by endlessly,
And I’m apparently so strong….
Life looks at me,
And spits in my haggard face,
The looks I’m given,
Through this rat race.
My brother tells me I’m special,
I don’t see it myself,
The lies I’ve told, trouble caused,
Yet I have all this wealth.
Why do the demons taunt?
The people I love take all I can give,
And leave none for me,
Nothing on which to live….
Thats the way things goes... I'm dead... no more life, it's all over
I learnt some things today:
We're all cattle, heading for the same end as all the others... DEATH
Everyone ands up in the some place everyone as everyone else... DEATH
Life = Death
ACCEPT IT
Yeh, there is a new year coming, but it don't matter, it's a celebration created by philosophers, made to make people feel good after the shit of christmas.... enjoy it! |
|
|
| Joey's Birthday |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|01:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | life is funny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Robert De Niro - Are You Talking To Me? | ] |
Last night, got absolutely wrecked, called Joss at 4am like she told me to lol
Today was Joey's Birthday, happy birthday dude (I know you don't read this, but it's there all the same lol)
Did absolutely nothing all day, then went to Joey's, had some grub, then went to the pub, pretty good crowd, had a few laughs, close to a few tears, then came home, watching Taxi Driver at the moment (Are you talking to me?!) Loving this film!
Basically, the gist of the night is that I'm an idiot, always have been, always will be... if you're smart, you'll get away fast and not look back. |
|
|
| Bah Humbug |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|11:34 pm] |
I truly hate Christmas.
It is the most depressing time of year... while everyone was opening presents, people were opening veins, that sort of thing... oh well.
So, I'm depressed... what's new? "You're always depressed" I hear you think (yeh, I'm psychic as well as depressed, special child I am) Yeh, so what if I am... make me go to a psychiatrist and you're a special person as well.
Yeh, I know... it's just me making me depressed, and it probably is...
No Love, No Glory says:
good
†SceneQueen†______Take My Breath Away And Kiss Me|My Cam Whore Owes Me A Kiss.|"What Does She Think I Am? Your Hatstand?" says:
Is it?
No Love, No Glory says:
is anything?
†SceneQueen†______Take My Breath Away And Kiss Me|My Cam Whore Owes Me A Kiss.|"What Does She Think I Am? Your Hatstand?" says:
*slaps you* stop being so emo, you have everything to live for.
No Love, No Glory says:
such as?
†SceneQueen†______Take My Breath Away And Kiss Me|My Cam Whore Owes Me A Kiss.|"What Does She Think I Am? Your Hatstand?" says:
Such as, me, your friends, and your mother, and a job
I have things to live for.... apparently.
Oh well, may as well go on living for these things... may see a reason not to go on living for them... only time will tell... |
|
|
| So That Was Christmas |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|12:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Don't Like Christmas | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen | ] |
Christmas has come and been, another day really... oh well, back to normal tomorrow, back to work.
Life goes on... the world doesn't stop turning just cos we celebrate the birth of our saviour. It's funny how many people DON'T know that that's why we celebrate xmas.
Oh, btw I didn't really get anything special, some poker stuff from my mum, a crappy watch from my aunt, a bottle of jack that i'm doing a damn fine job of right now, probably best pressie I got, and it'll be the first one gone... shame that.
Normal family arguments, my mum drank too much sherry and port as usual, and started arguments... I had to retreat to her room with to watch Jerry Maguire and smoke and drink my life away...
I ran out of coke earlier, so the jack is going down straight... best way I spose... maybe I'll forget this Christmas the way I've forgotten all the others... |
|
|
| Random Xmas Thoughts |
[Dec. 24th, 2005|09:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  reminiscent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Morning After - Linkin Park | ] |
I miss being a little kid...
I was at work today, clearing a table and I overheard a little child talking to his mother; "Is santa coming tonight? Am I gonna have presents in my stocking in the morning?"
And it made me think about how dull Christmas really is, I don't feel the same kind of enthusiasm, the same excitement as I used to... I used to wake up on the 1st of December and think "Christmas is nearly here!" and be really excited, but now, I wake up and just get on with my life. I know most people feel like this when the grow up, but I just needed to get it out.
I do wish I was a little kid, life was so much simpler, and much more exciting! |
|
|
| Jeez... |
[Nov. 23rd, 2005|02:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Red To Black - Fort Minor | ] |
Wow, haven't been on here in a while...
I don't think anyone else goes on here anyways lol.
Just read through all my entries (that took a long long time!) and man, was I a depressed motherfucker? I can now tell you that something has died in me, and I'm glad it happened. Life is good now, what's the point in being sad and depressed when there is so much life to have? You just gotta get out there and get some of it.
That's what I'm doing, enjoying my life! Cos there is only one way to go in life, what matters is how we get there, and how much fun we have in the process! So sod all you depressed emo kids, cheer the fuck up, realise that life is so much more than you and your "sadness"!
Of course, no-one is gonna see this, I see that no-one has posted on here in a long while lol. So shit happens, but if anyone does see this, please, let me know what you think! |
|
|
| Weirdest week of my life.... |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|12:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Violent Mood Swings - Stabbing Westward | ] |
Ok... my week...
Monday: Bunked off work to go to Godalming and see mates... ends up with me going out with Jamie :)
Tuesday: Stayed the night at Jamie's, her dad absolutely rocks.
Wenesday: Hated getting up and going to work :P But was worth it... best day ever at work... a lot of good laughs.
Thursday: meh, kinda average
Friday: Broke up with Jamie... I'm not ready for a full blown long term relationship... just wanna be young free and single for a while... concentrate on work, english retake and sorting out problems with friends... doesn't mean i'm not up for this and that though ;) :P
Me and Jamie are still mates, we're gonna hang out for a bit tomorrow, she is still a really cool person, one of my best mates and and all round amazing person...
I wanna take this opportunity to say that I'm sorry to everyone for that thoughtless email, Rowan in particular... I was wrong and I'm sorry. Good luck to you and Aaron :)
So, life is rather good at the moment... I'm in a good place, work is good, friends will be good once certain things are sorted and relationships are non existant!
And I also need to make a shout out to Joss... You are a great person, no matter what anyone may say, we all love you! And I'm well up for those piano lessons :)
So that was my update. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2005|12:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  emo | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Drive - Funeral For A Friend | ] |
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS TOWN... IT'S FUCKING KILLING ME!
ROLL ON NEXT YEAR! |
|
|
| Am I A Lover Or A Fighter... |
[May. 26th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Unbreak My Heart - Toni Braxton | ] |
It seems I am neither...
Me and Rowan are over... and before you ask, I'm fine!
It was a mutual break, and we're still best mates.
Ironic story though... I was unemployed for most of our relationship, but it was good.... I get a job and it all goes downhill... where is the fucking sense in that? Who knows, who fucking cares?
But yeh, it's fine, we're both cool about it.
So this means I'm young, free and single again... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2005|11:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hmmm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Aereogramme - In Gratitude (Acoustic) | ] |
Oh I got it, I started on friday with induction, the singly most boring thing ever... but i was getting paid for it so i'm not bothered.
So, I now have a job. :)
I had to sell my SOAD ticket tonight, i can't make it cos i'll have to work... oh well, means i get a bit of money on saturday, i can take Rowan out for lunch, something I've been planning to do for fucking ages! |
|
|
| Job Interview (Part 2) |
[May. 18th, 2005|08:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fightstar - Cross Out The Stars | ] |
Job interview in an hour.... |
|
|
| GIVING IT A FUCKING NAME |
[May. 4th, 2005|01:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Funeral For A Friend - All The Rage (Live at GIAN) | ] |
Ok, so after many mishaps I finally got GIAN tickets... and fuck me was it worth it...
Got up very early, got train, went to Ally Pally, stood in queue for fucking ages lol
Finally got in, the band list was as follows: Mewithoutyou (they sucked), Fightstar (Fucking amazing), Mae, (didn't watch them), The Lucky Nine, (really good), Alexisonfire (again very good), Rise Against (pretty good), Coheed and Cambria (very very good), MC Lars doing some MC-ing (pretty good), Finch (fucking amazing), Funeral for a Friend (.... do I need to say anything?)
It was an amzing day... fucking amazing.
Finch played some of their new stuff, however I was disappointed that they didn't play Letter To You... meh. FFAF also played some new stuff, but I'd heard most of them...
So yeh, it was an amazing day, Can't wait for Funeral's tour.
|
|
|
| Fuck It! |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|07:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ill | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Plug In Baby - Muse | ] |
No job, they turned me down... oh well
When I get better (I've got like flu or something) I'll go out on a CV dropping spree, hope that someone actually considers me for a job.... |
|
|
| Job Interview.... |
[Apr. 20th, 2005|09:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Clerks - Love Among Freaks | ] |
I've got a job interview in like an hour..... *gulps* |
|
|
| Paington (Again) |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|11:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Right Side Of The Bed - Atreyu | ] |
Well I'm off to paignton today... THANK FUCKING GOD!!!
This fucking town has pissed me off too much recently, actually it's not the town, it's the people. a bunch of fucking pricks, with a few exceptions obviously.
Maybe while I'm gone you'll all learn how to sort your own problems yourselves. I'm not gonna be here to hold your hands forever, SO FUCKING SORT IT OUT! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
burnt_angel1344's journal